Thursday, December 15, 2011

First Trimester + Todder = Not Easy

I didn't want to write this sooner because feeling the way I did I knew I was in danger of crossing the line from slightly whiny to ungrateful complaining PITA.  Hopefully, now that I'm feeling significantly better I can stay just this side of that line.  That said - Holy Cow!  I do not remember it being this rough the first time around.


I'm sure that's partly because last time I didn't have much to do besides curl up on the couch and eat sliced apples to keep nausea at bay.  I got plenty of sleep and lived above a vegetarian cafe stocked with healthy ingredients and good cooks willing to fix up anything my heart desired - or at least wasn't repulsed by.  I had it pretty good.

Still, I'm pretty confident I wasn't this sick the first time.  I had some nausea - but didn't throw up.  Wish I could say that was true this time, but I can't.  I felt pretty lousy.  It's all I could think about for a few weeks.

I felt/feel really guilty because my parenting took a major nosedive.  I spent a lot of time laying down.  We hardly left the house.  Leo spent A LOT of time coloring.  My temper was short.  I couldn't stomach cooking or preparing much food.  He ate A LOT of cereal and peanut butter sandwiches.  Honestly, it made me second guess my ability to handle two kids - number two isn't even earthside and I was losing it.  Luckily, I have jb - who could not be more supportive and helpful, and Leo - who is about as patient and understanding as a toddler can be. 

Now that the nausea only comes in spells a couple times a day and the fog is lifting, I'm ready to go back to enjoying parenting and being pregnant.  I'm trying hard to make the last few weeks up to Leo.  We are back to playgroup, library story times, more than coloring at home, and doing a better job of getting healthy food into both of us.

Yesterday we made Christmas cookies to send to work with jb.   Since I'm not back to 100% just yet I took a couple shortcuts and used bagged cookie mix and pre-made icing - big mistake.  It would have been SO worth the extra effort to just make it myself.  Ahhh, you live, you learn.

Here's my little baking elf:



22 comments:

  1. This is my biggest fear regarding getting pregnant with another. My husband is gone part-time (less than 20 hours a week usually) but that would be A LOT of time to be sick with a toddler. I was pretty sick with my first pregnancy in the first tri and even with the luxury of not having to move, it was rough. I was anxious and depressed and ill. Maybe having Sebastian to focus on would make it easier, but maybe it would just make it 10x worse. I'm glad the fog is lifting for you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heather12/15/2011

    Been there...it is rough, but worth it...just keep thinking positive thoughts. I am jealous of the vegetarian cafe downstairs, though. Great perk!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those are gorgeous cookies, even if some shortcuts were involved. The good thing about toddlers are that they're very resilient, and I'm sure Leo will be just fine despite a few weeks of you not being able to give parenting 100%. Besides, the tradeoff in terms of having a younger brother or sister to share his life with will more than make up for it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love the pictures!!!

    I'm currently experiencing an unplanned third pregnancy (IUD) and what surprises me is how every pregnancy is different. This is twins, but so was my last pregnancy, and I'm Gavin nausea issues which I never had with either other pregnancy. BUT or a trade off, I'm having no fatigue where I thought last time woul be fatal.

    Congrats and happy dance to all three of you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kathy Chamberlin12/16/2011

    Very happy to read you're feeling better. I know there's nothing to compare that pregnancy nausea to; not like a stomach virus, not like any other upset stomach I'd ever had. More like feeling you've ingested plain ol' rat poison. Or at least how I imagine you'd feel if you had. So, so awful but, as other posters have said, worth it when it's all over. And your cookie shapes are really gorgeous! I've never gotten such perfection with any cookie cutters. How do you DO that? What an adorable little helper you have there.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anofferingoflove12/16/2011

    hm...im guessing girl then ;)
    glad you are feeling a bit better. the pics of leo are adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Carolyn Chernoff12/16/2011

    O HEY DUDE, 'MEMBER HOW I WOULD LOVE TO HELP YOU OUT? Just sayin'. Hope things continue to get better.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Glad to hear you guys are getting back into the swing of things!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Heather Visnesky12/16/2011

    I was much sicker with the second as well. I had a girl the second time. ;)

    Don't beat yourself up about laying down and taking care of yourself and your baby in utero. You are a GREAT mom and this is such a tiny blip in Leo's life - he most likely won't even remember it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Candice Heinen12/18/2011

    i cant imagine how you feel, because ive never been pregnant. still trying! but it looks like leo had a lot of fun!

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's true - as much as caring for Leo is was a challenge - it was also a distraction. Not fun - but survivable.

    ReplyDelete
  12. It really was! It being worth it in the end is exactly what I keep reminding myself of. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I really do think he will like being a big brother (fingers crossed!) and he is SOOOO adaptable. I just hope I'm not taking advantage of his resilience ;)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yeah, fatigue and nausea are both pretty awful - I don't know which is better/worse. Glad you were able to dodge at least one this time around! Good luck!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. It is a very unique kind of stomach upset. As for the cookie shapes, the only thing we did beyond the mix directions was to very liberally sprinkle with flour when rolling out - maybe that stiffened them up a bit?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks! My family has their money on girl, too ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I do remember! :) And we will SO take you up on that in the newborn days. Right now I'm feeling better and just feeling mega-tired. Leo is a freakin' trooper and jb is just as supportive and helpful as can be. So we are hanging in there. Add a newborn to the mix and we will be flailing a little - so seriously - we will not let your generosity go to waste ;) Have a safe and awesome trip!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks sister! See you soon!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Another vote for a girl :) Leo already seems to be pretty over it. Kids are amazing. I don't know that I'd be so willing to go with the flow.

    ReplyDelete
  20. He did! It was kind of a big mess in the end - but worth it :) He was so excited that he could "color cookies"

    ReplyDelete
  21. Carolyn Chernoff12/19/2011

    No worries whatsoever. Just putting it out there.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Martha Kasper12/21/2011

    Glad to hear you are starting to feel better. I remember (all those 15 years ago) feeling nauseous ALL DAY LONG, and could not imagine feeling that way and taking care of a toddler too! He is such a cutie, What a cutie he is helping you out... do you think I could hire him. I have baked not ONE cookie!!!

    ReplyDelete