Friday, May 25, 2012

Toddler Chores and Fostering Helpfulness

 Toddlers are SO eager to help.  Leo is no exception and he melts my heart on a daily basis with his desire to assist.  From scurrying to get me a towel when he hears the shower water turn off to helping me pick out my outfit when I get dressed (I have left the house in two different shoes because I couldn't bear to turn down his proud and earnest selections) to giving me his hand to steady myself when he sees me struggling to get up from my seat (the only thing harder than getting up from our comfy couch in the third trimester is getting up without toppling your oh-so-helpful toddler).

The catch is that all this enthusiasm and willingness to do anything to help out is paired with limited ability to perform much beyond basic tasks.  Of course, we want to nurture, preserve and grow this natural urge to be helpful - but it can be frustrating when you are trying to get a task done in a timely fashion.

I try to always usually find a way to include him in tasks around the house - even when it makes things take twice as long.  I believe that it will pay off in the long run.  Hopefully by the time age 10 rolls around, doing chores and being part of the household team will feel easy and natural for him.  He already has a list of "chores" that he is so proud of being able to do.  Some of them are actually helpful and he is able to do them almost completely on his own.  Others are more of an investment at this point.  It can be more work to allow him to assist in certain tasks - but he's come so far already, I think it will be no time at all before he gets the knack of those, too.

Our Toddler Chore List

These are the things that he is virtually independently performing - and actually move housework forward.

  • Putting Dirty Dishes in the Sink - His dishes aren't breakable, so even though he can barely reach, he is able to drop them right over the edge.
  • Putting Garbage in the Trash Can - At first he got a little gung-ho on this one and we had to be very clear that he could only put things in the garbage can that we told him to - but now he's a champ at trash and recycling.  
  • Putting Toys in Boxes (Tidying) - We are still working on separating out the book box vs. the puzzle box vs. the play kitchen - but he is GREAT at picking up all his toys and putting them into storage boxes before nap and bedtime.  This is the most helpful chore of all, in my opinion.  Especially right now that it's harder for me to bend down.
  • Letting The Dog Out of Her Crate - First thing every morning and when we arrive home from an outing it is his job to open Talula's crate so she can join us for the day.
  • Feeding the Dog - We measure out the cup full of food, and he walks it across the room to her dish and dumps it in.  Thankfully, if he drops a few morsels Talula is more than willing to clean up after him.  
  • Laundry Piles - He loves separating out the laundry.  At first this task would quickly devolve into dumping all our clean laundry on the floor, but at this point he is able to make piles that are pretty reliably sorted.  Some of the non-folding items like diapers and wipes we can put right into the drawer after he sorts them.  



Investment Toddler Chores: 

These are the tasks that end up being double the work when he "helps" - but we try to make the extra effort to foster his love of helping.

  • Laundry- Letting him throw in articles of clothing one-by-one, measure and dump the soap, and push/turn the buttons/dials definitely draws out this chore, but we will be darned if we raise kid who goes to college not knowing how the washer and dryer work. 
  • Sweeping/Mopping - This one can get frustrating.  Especially when he sweeps the dust pile away, spills most of the dust pan before making it to the garbage, or does more walking on a mopped surface than mopping.  Still, he wants to help and he won't fall for the sweeping what's already been swept shtick.
  • Cooking - Cooking is always a collaborative effort in our house, and even though toddler hands do slow the process down - it's really enjoyable to make meals with Leo.  He knows he's not allowed to handle knives and will "touch his kitchen" (keep one hand on the play kitchen to stay out of harm's way) when we need to open the oven.  It can get pretty messy - but this one has double-whammy benefits in that it also teaches him about where our food comes from.
  • Gardening - Oh what a fiasco planting our container garden was!  There was dirt everywhere.  Seedlings were uprooted.  A few were even snapped in half and didn't make it.  Even now that the plants are mostly established we have to remind him that even though it is thrilling that we can "eat the leaves" of some of our plants, we can't just pull them all off.  This one is also a two-fold benefit chore in that he learns about where our food comes from.

I think at just barely two years old that is a pretty well-rounded repertoire.  We plan on adding/adjusting as time goes on - keeping his tasks age-appropriate.  What chores did/do you assign your toddler and a what age?  

24 comments:

  1. This is a great list. My accountant told me that, often as early as three years old, I can "hire" my kid to help my company -- as a tax deduction. Basically, if s/he can empty trash cans or fetch supplies, s/he's on board. Hooray, child labor! Can't wait.

    ReplyDelete
  2. We do pretty much all the same things and now we have added unlocking and opening the back door when we are ready to go outside. He can also now take a lot more responsibility for himself: choosing his entire outfit, putting most of it on independently if I lay each piece out, and putting on his shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was surprised when I started writing it that the list got so long! He does play, too! ;) I look forward to hearing about how the hiring of your youngest employee goes. I hope you go easy on that first performance review.

    ReplyDelete
  4. addie métivier5/25/2012

    impressive! i hope we can do as good a job with zephyr.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I feel like I should not take credit - it really happened pretty organically. I'm sure it will emerge the same way in your family. The only tricky part is not getting frustrated and sending off to play while you do everything yourself - but that is balanced as soon as you realize you don't have to get up to put your cup in the sink ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. We have pretty much the same list of "chores" and have been able to add a couple more as he's gotten a bit older. (For instance, it is now his "job" to unlock and open the back door when we are ready to leave.) He's also now doing things like choosing his clothes (independently going upstairs, getting shorts/shirt/underwear/socks, bringing them down to me) and putting on his own clothes and shoes (if i lay out each piece.) I look forward to the "taking out the trash" and "cleaning up after dinner" days, I'll tell ya what.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes! I try not to get too far ahead of myself...but I certainly daydream about the future when I'm carrying heavy groceries up the stairs.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Seussgirl5/25/2012

    We have one of those hanging closet organizer things in our coat closet, and each boy (I have 3 boys, 4 and under) has to take their shoes off and put them in their own cubby hole each time we get home. Sometimes they like to "surprise" Daddy by putting their shoes in his cubby hole, but at least they're in the closet!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ah yes! That's a good idea. We have a shoe cubby - but half the pairs only have one in there at a time, so I'm thinking it may be a bit before he totally gets the hang of that one!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jessica Cohen5/25/2012

    I think for his age he's helping more than most, which means that you are doing a fantastic job nurturing his eagerness to help. That eagerness subsides with age so grab it while you can!

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a great list of accomplishments for Leo! My son is four and enjoys helping out most of he time. I haven't assigned him chores, as he volunteers to help more than necessary. I have a friend who assigned her son a new chore each year on his birthday. She started when he turned three, which is when he had to start folding washcloths. He is 16 now and is usually helpful around the house! It definitely pays off!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love toddler help. :) Some things do take a bit longer but he is getting better at doing chores on his own. If there is a spill, he can usually clean it up on his own - Get the rag, wipe it up. A lot of the hard parts are chores he wants to do his own way, or models not quite right. He likes to pull clothes out of the dryer when they are still wet and tries to unload dirty dishes from the dishwasher. I agree, it's definitely worth any hassle to make sure that your child grows up knowing how to do their own laundry! Not to mention the absolute cuteness.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jo-Lynne Shane5/28/2012

    Nurture it, girl! He won't always be so eager to help. ;-) (and OMG how adorable is that picture of him sprinkling on the cheese!?)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hillary Chybinski5/28/2012

    That is AWESOME!! With my first I was so "type-A' (hard to believe right? HA!) that I barely let the poor thing do anything. . .I'm better with #2 and have really learned to let go and accept less than perfect, grateful for the help.

    When the baby comes along, he will be a great little helper in fetching things. Set up some small books, and baby supplies in low places so he can reach them and you're all set! My favorite thing was a diaper changing basket. . .I did NOT want to go upstairs to use the changing table. . .so I set up a basket with a pad, wipes, diapers and all the supplies I may need. Made for easy floor changes.

    Have a great weekend!
    Hillary

    ReplyDelete
  15. These are such great ideas. Thinking I should try to create a realistic chore list for my almost 4 year old. THanks for sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mychal B5/28/2012

    My three year old loves to help out. The older one used to be that way but has grown out of it. It is nice that they try to help since they're mess makers. When my oldest was younger I even had him loading the washing machine.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I hope we can draw it out as much as possible. I won't delude myself that we won't be picking up dirty sock in weird places in 15 years, but hopefully it will be balanced with some dish washing... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. That's good to hear! It would be a shame if I spent a decade taking an hour to sweep a room only to find it didn't make a difference :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. The cuteness is a definite perk! Forgot to mention that benefit!

    ReplyDelete
  20. :) We are doing our best to soak it up while we can. For sure!

    ReplyDelete
  21. My mom was the same way - progressively more lax with each kid. I wonder how I'll be different with #2. A changing basket sounds like a must - especially if you have two floors!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I bet she does a lot already. We don't (well, didn't) have a chore list for him, but when I sat down to think about it - there was a lot!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Too cute. It is true that sometimes their "help" makes a bigger mess than the one you were trying to clean up, though!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Monica Jamer2/05/2013

    You inspired me! I mentioned this post in my blog post. :) Thank you!

    ReplyDelete