Monday, June 4, 2012

Going From a Family of Three to a Family of Four

My Family Today
These last few days (weeks, months) are so very bittersweet.  We are all so looking forward to bug's arrival, but I am feeling wistful about our time as a trio coming to an end.  The last two years jb and Leo have been my whole life - we have settled into our roles and built a great little family team.  Of course we have had to change and grow over that time - and adding a new team member will just be another way we grow.  I know this.

It's just that we have created this world; just the three of us - and it's all we've known for what seems like forever.  In reality though, it's only been two short years.  Ten years down the line this stage as a family of three will be a tiny blip on our timeline.  It's so strange to think that someday it will be hard to remember life before bug (as it is now to recall life before Leo).  That makes me want to soak up these last moments.

I am mourning a bit some of the things we will be giving up - mostly the one on one time and undivided attention that Leo gets.  But the more I think about it - while it is true that we cherish those moments we each get with one another, we are all happiest when we are all together.  I think that will still be true when we are a foursome.

Not to mention all that we will gain.  Especially Leo.  jb and I both cherish our siblings - and I really think that Leo is going to be a fantastic big brother.  I just know that they will love each other so much - I think they already do.  I already get so much joy just imagining them playing together, helping each other and being their own kind of team - I can't wait to witness it in person.

So even though I know that ultimately all these changes (while possibly presenting some challenging transitions) will be positive for our family, I'm still trying to savor these last days of just the three of us.


  1. Going from three to four is such a change! I remember right before Maya was born, Rebeca and I cried a little at the thought of Isa no longer being an only. We wondered how the new baby would affect her and we did mourn the loss of our little trio.

    But then Maya came and our family took on a whole new dynamic. And it was fabulous. And exactly how it should be. :)

  2. Jamie Jackson6/05/2012

    Longtime reader, first time commenter... :)

    I had similar thoughts and the arrival of 2.0 (in January) was bittersweet. We've adjusted over time and I wish you, JB and Leo many memorable moments as you approach Bug's arrival!

    Minneapolis, MN

  3. Klgs246/05/2012


  4. this is one of a few things that i think a lot about as we cautiously and very abstractly consider a second. on the one hand, both A and i understand the value of siblings (even she, who doesn't much like her only sib). on the other, the zunzun is such a lovely kid and i feel sad about not getting to focus on him *and* about wondering if el segundo would get individual attention. but just as you've said here, before long, the time of having an only child will be such a small piece of the larger narrative that includes all the fun and love you'll have with bug. so crazy to think about, and so bittersweet!

  5. Next in Line6/12/2012

    I am sure that you will savour these lovely days and then savour the lovely days as a family of four. Change, however wonderful, can still be bittersweet.