Spoils Of Christmas

Scenes from Christmas Day

We had a fantastic (first) Christmas.  We spent it at my parents' home  and it was filled with family, friends, food, gifts, and joy.  This is the first year that Leo is really understanding things and watching his anticipation build for Christmas day was awesome.

The darkest days of winter calendar certainly helped draw out the excitement and he was really looking forward to seeing the whole family and to giving the gifts we'd worked on over the last few months.  As for receiving gifts, of course he was thrilled - but it was a bit of overload for him.  I thought we were doing a good job of not overdoing the gifts, but it did get away from us a bit - add to that the gifts from other family members and it was a little overwhelming.

Pittsburgh Zoo Tragedy: Empathy Vs. Judgement

I feel like lately I've been surrounded by tragic stories involving the death of young children.  There was the nanny that slayed two of her charges in Manhattan (the precious two year old lost shares a name with my own precious two year old), the mother that had her 2 year old and 4 year old swept away in the flooding of hurricane Sandy (not even a hundred miles from here), two friends have recently lost toddlers (one to a drowning accident and one never woke up in the morning without explanation), and most recently, a two-year old was mauled after falling into an exhibit at the Pittsburgh Zoo.

Zoo-bilee

Leo playing with the "big gato"

We had a magical trip to the Pittsburgh Zoo with my mom and sisters.  In the past my experiences with zoos have been hit or miss - either the animals aren't out/active, or the habitats seem inadequate and just make me sad, or it's too hot...  But this time it was as though the stars aligned.  The weather was perfect, the improvements they've made over the last couple years are fantastic, and at each exhibit the animals walked right up to us - really.

Leo got pretty up close and personal with tigers, leopards, gorillas, sharks, giraffes and elephants.  I don't want to get too hokey - but seriously, it's as though Leo had some kind of energy that attracted the animals.  If they were hidden or in a far corner when we'd walk up to an exhibit they would inevitably make their way over to the glass/gate/water so that Leo could get a good look at them.  It was awesome - even when the tiger suddenly tried to playfully pounce on Leo through the glass (see those muddy paw marks!).

Labor Day Festivities

  On Labor Day our family marched in the parade  and Leo was very excited about it because our contingent included a drill team.  He spent the entire route staring at the drummers and dancers.  We didn't last very long at the picnic afterwards, but long enough for Leo to take in the boats (and ducks) on the river from Penn's Landing.

There's really not much to report. We are still in Pittsburgh, but heading back to Philly tomorrow. Leo is just a few days short of five months.

It looks like it will still be a few months before Leo can borrow Uncle Nick's shoes. (Shockingly, this photo op was orchestrated by Abi.)

Leo sat in his first high chair.

Of course, that only lasted about twenty minutes before daddy had to take him outside to watch me finish my meal through the window.

We've been enjoying the fall air and leaves. The drive across the state was lovely and the temperature this week has been creeping towards the 50s, so I've been reconnecting with long lost sweaters.

Five Weeks

Another big week. Sometimes it seems like we're always go go go, but other times it seems like all we do is sit around and nurse. I think that means that we've struck the perfect balance. This post is a day late because of Father's Day - but that'll be another post. Here's the rundown:


Sunday: We set out to meet up with Families Like Ours (FLO) for the Pride Parade. We didn't end up finding them, but marched at the back of the parade with Leo anyway.


In the evening, we headed to the Three Rivers Arts Festival to catch the Patty Griffin concert. We only made it in time for the last few songs, but that's probably all Leo was up for at that point. And, we managed to squeeze in an order of chocolate-covered strawberries.


Monday and Tuesday: Leo was really worn out from the weekend, so we took it easy. He lets us know when he's had enough - and that usually results in a full day of staying at home and nursing.

Wednesday: Our friend from college, Kierstin, was coming through town on a road trip and stopped by for breakfast. jb went to work a little late to be there for the visit - and to make her famous strawberries 'n cream oatmeal for us all. That evening, my family came by for Leo's one month birthday (see previous post).

Thursday: jb has been jonesing to take Leo to the Carnegie Library's Baby and Me sing-along, and now that he is starting to have more awake time and really enjoy music, I thought it would be perfect timing. Unfortunately, Leo didn't agree and he slept through the entire thing - even the parts that required jostling him around. Midday, Leo met our friend Kira, who we hadn't seen in a while. It was nice to catch up.


In the evening we took Leo to his first art opening, our friend Barbara's show at Coca Cafe. He got to meet some of our friends (well, truth be told we haven't seen most of them since before we opened the cafe, but I still consider them friends).


Friday: We had a weigh-in with the lactation consultant (even though the pediatrician said we are on track, I'm still a nervous nellie) and Leo had gained 10 oz. in 11 days - which is PERFECT! The nurse couldn't stop saying how bright eyed, alert, and active he is. :) That afternoon jb suggested we go berry picking. We drove to a nearby farm that has strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. It was sunny (and well, Leo is a baby) so we only picked one pint of strawberries so that we weren't out in the sun for too long. I will admit I ate a few before they could make it into our container. So delicious!!


Saturday: We had dinner at our neighbors' home. In addition to Erin and Robert (our adult friends) Leo got to play with Benjamin (6, and very interested in the mechanics of breastfeeding :)) and Anne (3, and a very good baby-holder - she's never dropped one!). They even got to go visit the new chicken coop in the neighborhood. The meal was awesome, and made almost exclusively from ingredients from their CSA and garden; my favorites were the beet greens and purple dragon carrot cake. Mmmm.


As for milestones, jb and I were perusing this chart and it seems that we are in some trouble. Several people have commented on his head control, strength, and alertness, but we didn't realize how advanced some of his skills are for his age. I'm very glad he's not developmentally delayed, but I'm a little worried that we've got an early walker on our hands. Wish us luck!

Week Three

Week three has been a blur. It was busy; perhaps too busy. I'm so torn between wanting to get out to do things, and thinking maybe just staying home and keeping us all fed is challenging enough. Pictures are scarce and low quality this week - I'll try and do a better job.

Leo is three weeks old today. He's still cute. Still long. Still perfect. I also have a new respect for the power of suggestion - because after all those months of calling him monkey in utero, he has developed a striking resemblance to a monkey.






So, let's see if we can do a quick run-down of this packed week.

• Uncle Jared's visit was short and sweet. I think Leo is a fan of his Uncle, even if he foolishly chooses to live so far away.
  

• We went grocery shopping together for the first time. We picked up some groceries at Right By Nature and even sat in the cafe to have some juice and a muffin. This made us think that maybe we were ready to tackle a restaurant...
  
• We successfully had our first restaurant outing. Aunt Fanny, Uncle Jared, jb, Leo and I all went to Pamela's for breakfast. I got my favorite - the blueberry hotcakes (but only if they have fresh blueberries! Some locations use frozen blueberries and it ruins the whole thing.) Aunt Fanny got two breakfasts (the banana-walnut hotcakes and she added chocolate chips, and also the two egg and sausage breakfast) AND a side of potatoes. (To be fair, I helped out substantially.) jb and Jared got the tex-mex omelet and the corned beef hash respectively. Everything was amazing. I heart Pamela's.
  

• On Monday N8 came by to meet the little man and we attended our neighborhood Memorial Day picnic. All the Burgans attended, which was fun (and rare!). Leo expereinced his first rainfall.
  
• Erika and Sara, two of my friends from my high-school days came by to meet Leo. They came bearing casserole and tomato plants :)
  
• Thursday I had a midwife appointment and Leo had a weigh-in at the pediatrician. Leo weighed in at 8 lbs. 1 oz. So he's headed in the right direction, but still gaining slowly.
  
• Friday Leo met Heather and Eliot (jb and I used to babysit Eliot when they lived nearby) and we went to Abi's house for dinner - Tostadas!
• Saturday we had big plans, unfortunately it's been super rainy, so they didn't quite work out. First we went down to the river to check out Paddle at the Point. We managed to see the record-breaking floatilla just as it began pouring rain. That evening we had hoped to go to the free Guster concert at the Three Rivers Arts Festival but the combination of forecasted thunderstorms and being pretty burnt out from such a long week meant that we stayed in.

Leo ponderings:

• He gets this round, red bump on his forehead between his eyes when he gets upset.
  
• He has crazy long toes.
  
• He is a generally happy baby as long as he's fed, dry, and being held. Unfortunately, it's hard to keep all three of those simple requests met 24 hours a day.
• He's beginning to have a bit more awake time.
• His eyes are this cool shade of blue-gray. They will likely turn brown by six months, so I'm hoping to get a good picture of this color.
• He didn't poop for like 24 hrs, and just as we were getting really worried he pooped and pooped and pooped.
• He slept for five hours last night!
• I think maybe the bump (not the red angry bump, but the little white bump) on his forehead is a birthmark and not baby acne.
• He likes going outside, and he loves the rain.
  
• He is a hit at the cafe on Saturday and Sunday mornings and loves that there is a neverending stream of people in line to hold him.
• His feet are adorably ticklish.
• The way he flails his arms about like he's directing traffic or some kind of slow motion ninja.
  
• jb and I are exhausted. Luckily Leo is getting enough sleep for all of us.

Run, Muffy, Run!

Today we cheered Muffy on as she ran the half-marathon! The route for the marathon passed very near to our house, so my parents and Larissa joined me by the sidelines. There were several friends in addition to my sister that I was hoping to see run by, and I was convinced I was going to miss them all once the hundreds of people started going by and they all started to blur together - but I managed to spot everyone I was hoping to spot; it's like they popped in the crowd! My mom loves to cheer, so she helped me cheer on friends, even if she wasn't sure who they were ;) The marathon was totally fun to watch - even in the rain! It was especially thrilling to spot someone you know in the crowd. First Jay, then Ellen, then N8 - and most importantly, Muffy!! We are so proud of you, kid!

It Takes A Village

I've often mentioned our generous and kind neighbors on this blog. I want to clarify that I'm not referring to one or two neighbors - but virtually every single one of our neighbors. We are really blessed to live in a true community, where we can walk down the street and greet each other by name and truly know that we have this incredible support system to call on when we need it.

jb and I are both city-dwellers by nature, but are also very family oriented and fairly traditional (as far as 20-something lesbians go). We always assumed that there would be certain things we'd have to give up in order to live within the city limits, but somehow we managed to stumble upon this small-town of a neighborhood just across the bridge from downtown. I can't really put into words how exactly this little community feels, but it's nicest sort of nice. I guess the best way to explain would be to give some examples of the things that give us warm fuzzies:

• Ever since we opened the cafe (just over two years ago) we've had a consistent and growing group of regular customers. Some come every weekday morning, some come for breakfast on Saturdays and/or Sundays, some come to do work over coffee in the afternoons - but all are super supportive and dedicated to seeing us succeed. There are some customers that haven't missed a Saturday in two years!
• The neighborhood has a lot of parties - like a lot of parties. We have block parties on Memorial Day, the 4th of July, and Labor Day. We all meet in the street, bring a dish to share and talk and eat and drink while the neighborhood kids run up and down the street. Not to mention the Christmas Party, St. Patrick's Day Party, New Years Day brunch - plus the "bonus" parties (seriously, the G20 party was the best party I've ever been to - complete with each guest being assigned a country and bringing food from said country with many people also dressing up in traditional clothing and/or presenting power point presentations on their country).
• Volunteering. Most neighbors volunteer for neighborhood events and/or beautification. The Christmas tour, the spirits tour, the Queen Victoria tea, planting flowers in the spring, hanging decorations around the holidays, and seasonal clean-up days. On several occasions we've had neighbors hang decorations in the shop windows and plant new flowers in our planters outside. Such nice touches that we just love, but would most likely not get around to on our own.
• General generosity and support. We've experienced this personally on many occasions - from touching tokens and cards we've received at the holidays, to the avalanche of awesome baby stuff that has been handed-down or loaned to us since the day we announced we were expecting (crib, monitor, diaper bag, pack'n'play, maternity coat, other maternity clothes, puzzles, cloth diapers, clothes...), to the general - "oh you want this, I think I have one at home..." (air conditioner, sewing machine...). We've also had the privilege of being able to witness lots of inter-neighbor support. There are always people buying gift certificates from the shop because so-and-so just had a baby or so-and-so had surgery.
  
• The treatment of jb and our family. Now, I think jb is just the greatest person to have ever walked the face of this earth - but not everyone is perceptive enough to pick up on that right away, especially when the circumstances of their meeting involve jb being behind the counter in a service industry job position. When we were first considering opening the cafe, that was one of our (many) concerns. Do we really want jb to be working in the service industry indefinitely? We both had some pretty horrific stories from working barista and waitressing jobs in DC - and knew the grueling, thankless work that goes into serving the public. But really, it has been a pleasure to serve our neighbors. That's not to say that it still doesn't take a lot out of jb to be on her feet all day everyday, and there is still the occasional difficult customer that comes through the doors (but they are amazingly the exception, not the rule), but overall our "public" is more like a family that truly cares about jb and our brothers and sisters working behind the counter.
• Spreading the word. This kind of ties into the first point about our customers rooting for us to succeed. Our customers are always trying to get others to come in to the shop - by bringing friends who otherwise might not come, by blogging and use of social media, by voting for us in "best of" surveys, and by good old-fashioned talking us up.
  
• The snowstorm this weekend. The snowstorm this weekend threw us for quite a loop. We were under the (very mistaken) impression that because of the storm no one would be coming out (except maybe one or two of our hardcore regulars) and we would be closing the store early and enjoying hot chocolate on the couch together. Well, none of our baristas were able to make it in - but most of customers were very happy we were open and were coming in droves. So poor jb was working the shop single-handedly on perhaps the busiest day the store has ever seen. Of course, we quickly ran out of many vital ingredients - and a couple of our customers actually WALKED to the store for us to bring back milk, eggs, tomatoes, etc so that jb could continue to pump out lattes and omelets :) They were also ready to roll up their sleeves and help wash the dishes, but that's where jb drew the line.

This is getting long, so I'll leave it at that - but I think you get the picture. We feel so lucky - and I think this kind of fellowship is especially important to jb and me. The demands of the cafe can really take over our lives, leaving little time to nurture the relationships that are important to us. There have been times we have felt really isolated socially - but then we realize that we have this awesome network of friends and neighbors right at the center of those efforts. It truly makes the shop a labor of love.

On top of all this we are fortunate enough to have our families nearby and to live in a location where we can walk to a long list of great places:

• Museums (Warhol, Mattress Factory, Carnegie Science Center, Children's Museum, Aviary)
• Parks and Trails
• Farmers' Market
• Library
• Stadiums (PNC and Heinz)
• Restaurants
• Kayaking on the river or the little "Lake" near our home

All in all, I'm really grateful for our neighborhood, neighbors, family and city at large. If, as the saying goes, it really does take a village to raise a child - then I think we are in a pretty good position as we bring this little monkey into the world.

*To drive my point home - as I was typing this post, one of the men at the Harbor Light Center (the Salvation Army recovery center across the street from us) dug out our car from under more than 20 inches of snow.

One Wild Place

There are two main reasons the blog has been unattended:

1. My family is home, so there's really no need to keep them apprised of what's happening back home - since they are back home.

2. My family is home, and they have been keeping me very busy. Family is a big, wonderful time-suck.

Basically, any way you slice it, it's their fault. Not mine.

What have we been up to? Well, we've been taking advantage of the RADical days - which is a month-long celebration of Pittsburgh attractions when admission is either free or discounted. We went to Phipps, the Aviary, and to round out the month we went to the Zoo and Aquarium for my mom's birthday and parents' anniversary.

The zoo day was one of the last sunny moderately warm days of the season making it extra special. The animals were out and active (if confined to "habitats" smaller than our living room) and it was warm enough to walk outside comfortably, but cool enough to keep the zoo smells to a minimum. We also packed a picnic (complete with jb's famous chicken salad), so after walking around for a few hours we had lunch at one of the picnic tables in the park. A great way to enjoy the last of the nice weather.


Now that the weather has gotten colder and the days greyer; I've been doing a lot of cooking in the slow cooker. Stews, chili, and tonight: beef stroganoff. Usually as soon as cold weather hits I'm wishing for spring - so I'm trying to concentrate on the things I like about this season. Comfort food, sweaters, space heaters, changing leaves, the perfect under-the-covers nest, sweatpants, and of course - Thanksgiving!! Just over a month away!

certain kind of light.

let's just pretend that we haven't missed the last month of blogging, so we can skip the rundown of excuses. fair?

despite the unpleasantness of being an income-less household, lovely and i have been enjoying a wonderful summer. the shop has been great and keeping us very busy (and we've been picking up catering gigs to make sure that we are never sitting around on our dupas), and lovely has been increasingly active with her doula-related volunteering (i'll let her say more about that).

and we've been getting out and about to take advantage of the tons of budget-friendly stuff summer in pittsburgh has to offer: movies in the park, soccer games, farmers' markets and farm tours, cookouts, and house tours, for starters. we had a run of birthdays (my dad, myself, then lovely) which was marked by lovefest with yu's chinese buffet. lovely's birthday fell on the same day as a the netroots nation reception at the warhol, so we called that her party. we also ran into a bunch of old friends from dc, which was a good time.

oh - and we've also made lots of progress on the middle room, soon to be promoted to living room! we've got bona fide ceiling and walls, and are almost done painting. this is tough work that is not so fun in the heat, but it feels so good to be moving it forward.

the biggest recent news is that most of the teleps are home. the last week has been full of catching up and trying to help out with their move back to the states. now, we are all impatiently counting down the final two weeks until muffy's return! (still working on the getting-jared-closer front.)

Sum-sum-summertime

I have been enjoying this summer so much. The weather has been really great - warm, but still cooling down at night and there are so many great outdoor things happening. Talula is thrilled that she gets to go on more frequent and longer walks and tag along on more outings.

jb's soccer game cheering section is expanding - this week Daniel and Talula both joined me. Talula could only have been happier if I let her run around on the field with jb during the game.


I've been making lots of summery meals with fresh ingredients from our garden and the farmers' market. After the success of my fresh basil pesto, I made some fresh spring rolls with field greens, basil, mint, shredded carrot, cucumber and shrimp with a creamy dipping sauce. I also tackled some rosemary-lemon chicken - which while time consuming, was totally worth it.


This evening jb and I packed a picnic and headed to Schenley Plaza for WYEP's Summer Music Festival. We feasted on chicken salad, bagel chips, grapes, nuts, cucumber/tomato/avacado salad, jalapeno/cilantro hummus, and peanut butter cookies. I also packed my famous white-sangria (which is just pineapple juice, lime juice, and chardonnay - shhhh). It was a perfect evening. The sun set slowly as we enjoyed the music and we ran into several friends and neighbors. Dar Williams played a short set - which was the main reason we went - but the whole thing was so much fun (and totally romantic).

End of an Era

Monday was my last day at my job. I'm leaving with mixed feelings - but honestly the bad is quickly fading and I'm feeling very blessed to have worked with so many amazing people.

Unemployment would be awesome if it weren't for the choking panic of not knowing where money is going to come from soon. So far I've watched three seasons of Weeds, gotten a visit from Leslie and Holly, spent some quality time with my mom, worked in my "garden", shopped at the Farmers' Market, watched jb's first firecrackers' game of the season, walked Talula around the (suddenly hopping) park by our house, and made fresh pesto with the basil and parsley plants our neighbor gave us.We had a packed weekend, too. On Friday we went to the MF Urban Garden Party (where I came to terms with the fact that I'm getting too old to party like a rockstar), on Saturday jb and I walked across the bridge to the Three Rivers Arts Festival. We walked around holding hands perusing all the vendor booths then we bought ourselves a feast of over-priced fried festival food and sat on the grass and enjoyed the evening concert. On Sunday (the day before my last day on the job) I staffed what could be my last table at a Pride festival. I feel like a very bad lesbian because, honestly, I hate Pride festivals. I guess I just consider them work - in fact I can't remember the last time I attended one for fun. Usually my festival days consist of 5-6 hours in the sun trying to talk to drunk people about federal legislation - fun - and some years I've attended 5-6 festivals during the month of June. Maybe next year I'll get to actually enjoy a Pride Festival. Well, right now the future is unknown, but the present is pretty good. I ping back and forth between just trying to enjoy having time to myself while trusting things will work out and freaking out at the thought of money running out and having make some major changes to our lives. Right now there's not much I can do beyond get my resume out there and try not to panic. I'm going to visit my family in Mexico since I may not have the time again soon and because tickets are affordable (thanks to the swine flu scare). Hopefully I can make the most of this time and find a new job (or win the lottery) before things get dire.

Autumn

Today was a beautiful fall day. I took Talula for a walk around West Park and it was perfectly brisk and the leaves coated the ground. I really hate that the days are getting colder and darker, but today really was lovely. I love our park - it's such a great mix of nature and city. The skyline peaks up over the trees and the train tracks run behind the pond. jb and I went to see two movies this weekend (The Secret Life of Bees and Rachel Getting Married) which was such a treat since our time together has been limited lately. Tonight we had dinner at Rik's and got to see her (gorgeous!) new apartment. I'm 95% happy for her and 5% green with jealousy. I know our apartment has the potential to be that nice - but it just seems so far away. This weekend I'll be in San Francisco for our board meeting at work. Hopefully it will be a painless trip - but board meetings tend to be unpredictable. Wish me luck.

Resurfacing

The Good:

• Obama - how about that? So incredible.
• jb looks dapper in her new glasses.
• jb is an official tree tender.
  

The Bad:

• Proposition 8 passed in CA. I was in CA for the last two weeks of October working to defeat Prop 8 and I was so sure it was going to fail. I can't believe it passed. Not to mention FL and AR. It's hurtful. Especially in such an incredible year with progressive voters turning out in droves.
• Grandma died. Expected, but sad.
  
• That which shall not be discussed.

I'm having some buyer's remorse about moving to Pittsburgh - the main reason we moved (to be near family) is obsolete and especially now, at such an exciting time politically, I'm wishing I was in DC. Of course I tend to wax nostalgic about our time in DC, especially when I return for a work trip and it's all Dupont Circle apartments, squeezing in meetings all day, and having dinner with friends every night. Someone should remind me that I lived in NE, hardly ever went out, and spent my days tucked away in an office in the far corner of the building. Still, I miss it.

17 minute mile

Today I participated in the Great Race as part of a fundraiser to purchase laptop computers for disadvantaged local youth. The program is through Family Services of Western PA - the foster care agency that jb and I were looking into. I walked the 5k and raised $150 towards my team's laptop purchase.

My time was 55 mins - not exactly burning rubber. Still, it was a lot of fun and jb promised to do it with me next year :) and I'll have a time to beat next time around.

The course started in Oakland and we walked down Fifth to Blvd. of the Allies, through downtown to point state park. At the finish line they had bananas, oranges and smiley cookies for the racers - breakfast of champions.

Afterwards we went to Six Penn for the reception and presentation of the laptops and now I'm home on the couch nursing my blisters.

Herding Kittens

Well, my new battery charger arrived in the mail, and not two hours later, I found the missing one. Ahhhh life.

I tried to get some shots of the foster kittens, but it was like, well, herding kittens. Here are the best shots I could wrangle.





















Rufus - Grey poofy one. Grumpy and greedy. He has so much fur he can't seem to walk right and wobbles around being crotchety.

Mabel - The tabby. She's sweet and pretty, but fairly nondescript. Likes to cuddle, but at all the wrong times, like when you are asleep.

Felix - The black and white one. Also pretty run of the mill, but is the most adventurous. He was the first one to figure out how to jump the gate and find his way to the bedroom.

Reese - One of the siamese twins - the one with the white patch on his nose. He is just sooooooo loving and sweet. Loves to perch on shoulders and purr in ears.

Mona - The other siamese twin. She's shy, but is the most vocal. A few times I've been convinced that a cat was dying a horrible death only to find her sitting in a corner and meowing her heart out.

All soon to be up for adoption at the Humane Society...

Right now I'm in my bed watching the pnc park fireworks through my bedroom window waiting for jb to come up from the cafe. It's been a long tough week.