Week Four

Another packed week. Here's the run down.

Sunday - We took it easy as the last week took a lot out of us. (Obviously these aren't all from Sunday, the point is that there was napping.) So funny how a "taking it easy" day these days is about a million times more challenging than it would have been a few weeks ago.


Monday - Pediatrician appointment (see previous post) and Amber and Kristy (more friends from high school) stopped by to meet Leo.

Wednesday - Aunt Fanny brought Thai over for lunch, which I loved; unfortunately, I don't think Leo is a fan of spicy food as he was then up all night long. But he is a big fan of Aunt Fanny. jb practiced her "eating while parenting" skills.

Thursday - Leo and I cheered at jb's first soccer game of the season. Unfortunately, I don't have a single picture because I had my hands full with Leo. This was a challenging outing because there was no shade in the open field and I was on my own since jb was on the field. Also, my first attempt at nursing in public didn't work out great because the wind was flapping around the blanket I was using to cover our latching attepmts, which we still are working to perfect. Still, it was worth it to cheer on our favorite soccer player.

Friday - Leo and I stopped by jb's office so she could show him off to her co-workers. In the late afternoon we hit the neighborhood farmers' market. And for dinner we went to Uncle Daniel and Uncle Julian's.

Saturday - Big day. Leo began the day by visiting his fan club down in the cafe. After closing Aunt Larissa hung out with us for a bit and then accompanied us to Costco for some grocieries. After that we dared to attempt our second restaurant excursion to Max and Erma's. jb has nearly perfected her "eating while parenting" technique. To round out the night we stopped at the house to nurse and spend time with Grandpa, Uncle Nicholas, and Aunt Larissa. We even had a brief Aunt Fanny sighting.


Leo specifics:

• His head control and motor skills are getting better - he's even getting his hand/thumb in his mouth regularly.
• His eyelashes, which were virtually invisible when he was born, are beginning to grow.
  
• He's beginning to cry tears, which is heartbreaking.
• He's one of the few babies that does not like car rides. Usually when he cries we fix it by either holding him or nursing him - and we can't do either of those in the car, so car rides usually involve some crying.
  
• He LOVES to dance. We regularly have dance parties and sing-a-longs. We've recently discovered his love for The Ting Tings. If we are in the car and he's teetering on a meltdown we can crank "That's Not My Name" and he will quiet down. It's magic.
  
• Night time is continuing to go reasonably well (except for that spicy food night). Going out is beginning to go more smoothly. We can do back to back errands without a meltdown (on my part, not his).
  
• Nursing is still going strong. I began using a nipple shield (which not everyone is a fan of, I know) to let some of the damage to my nipples heal - and it's made things so much better. I just hope I heal soon and we can transition back to not using the shield.
• 

• We've had a lot of rain this week (or well, this month), which he's loving.
• He makes everyone smile. People love him and kids line up to meet him. Everywhere we go we have a soundtrack of "awwww"s. I guess that's true for all newborns, but I think maybe Leo is the cutest baby ever.
  

Two Weeks

This week started out not so great. On Sunday Leo and I had our first breastfeeding marathon. Rather than eat for about an hour then sleep for a couple hours he insisted on eating for more than twelve hours straight. Luckily we had turned a corner at this point in our breastfeeding relationship, so it wasn't excruciating. On Sunday night/early Monday morning I woke up with severe chills. I was shaking and my teeth were chattering. I bundled up under our down comforter and woke up a few hours later drenched in sweat and with a 103 degree temperature. That morning I went into the hospital for our midwife to check me out and she decided to treat me for a uterine infection. So the first part of the week is kind of a feverish haze. I'm feeling much better now.

We had a visit from our friends L and P and they came bearing tiny clothes that P has grown out of and I got my mommy chat fix. We also had a visit from Aya who was our back-up doula and who has been a friend since jb and I met.

jb went back to work this week and missed us very much.

Leo visited with family; here he is with Abi. jb and I love holding him, but it is really nice when family holds him for a bit and we can both have our hands free at the same time.

We continued getting to know each other and trying to work out a schedule. Thanks to the wonder that is side-lying nursing we have a bedtime and manage to get a few chunks of sleep at night.


We visited the ladies at my Friday yoga class. Our trip to the farmers' market got rained out. We took a few walks and visited the park.


And Uncle Jared made a surprise visit!!


We were able to debut the gorgeous quilt that our neighbor Erin made for Leo.

Leo's First Week

I am so incredibly tired. This week has been a rollercoaster. We are crazy in love with this little man and can just stare at him for hours - at the same time, I'm seeing why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. It's such a shame that this incredible, once-in-a-lifetime, fleeting time has to be enjoyed through a haze of exhaustion and pain. It's been a bit of a blur - and honestly I'd much rather be sleeping or staring at Leo right now than posting, but I want to make sure I record a few details before it all runs together.

Sunday - Day 1
Once our precious baby joined us earthside and we were cleaned up and filling out paperwork - I asked my family to bring me strawberry pancakes from Pamela's. We were home just six hours post birth and little Leo got to meet jb's side of the family. Leo was pretty much passed out for 24 hrs. after the birth, which we should have taken advantage of to get some sleep, but we were on such an adrenaline rush that we mostly just stared at him.

Monday - Day 2
We had a follow-up nurse home-visit for both Leo and I. The soreness began to hit me as the adrenaline wore off. My mom and Aunt Fanny (Aunt Fanny is Muffy's chosen name for Leo to call her) came by with lunch.

Tuesday - Day 3
Big outing day. First the pediatrician, then voting (I wish I had a picture of Leo voting with jb at three days old, but alas that pesky no camera rule). For dinner we went to Abi's (Abi is my mom's chosen name for Leo to call her) and had an awesome feast of veggies, fish and rice.

Wednesday - Day 4
I had a home visit from the lactation consultant, which was helpful, and timely because I was already getting super frustrated and almost ready to introduce formula. My hormones crashed something awful. We had some neighborhood visitors stop by the cafe to meet Leo.

Thursday - Day 5
Back to the pediatrician for a weigh in - he was still was not gaining, but had not lost any more weight which was encouraging. Katerina (my godmother) and Aunt Fanny came by for lunch and we had awesome chinese take-out and cupcakes. We got ambitious and walked down to the Greek Food Festival for dinner. The walk took a lot out of me, but it was nice to take Leo out for a casual meal and feel like we were getting some date time in.

Friday - Day 6
The lactation consultant came back for another home visit. I got a lot of sleep thanks to daddy (daddy is jb's chosen name for Leo to call her) picking up just about everything. Uncle Daniel came to see Leo. There was Brunton's chocolate milk back in my life after a dry spell (every where was out of it for the last two weeks of my pregnancy!!)

Saturday - Day 7
Leo made his cafe debut and met some of the regulars that hadn't come by yet. We took a lovely family nap. My Aunt and Uncle came by after the shop closed to meet Leo. Leo ate a whole bunch and fell into a deep sleep and jb and I were able to watch a TV show together and steal a bit of a cuddle.


Things about this week that have been hard:

• Breastfeeding - holy heck. I don't even know what to say about it that's not too awfully graphic, but it has been a real challenge. I know it's hard for a lot people, but I've got the extra challenge of having had a breast reduction (years ago) so it's been unclear what kind of success we could have with breast feeding, if any. I'm very proud to say that at this point we haven't needed to supplement with formula.
• Pain - Not only are we using new muscles when we carry Leo making for aching arms and back, but also, my posture while breastfeeding isn't always ideal (especially if it's a particularly painful session). On top of that, while in labor I got through contractions by bracing myself against two walls, so the next day I felt like I had bench-pressed a car. On top of that the soreness of recovering from a vaginal birth and the pain associated with learning to breastfeed. Well, ouch.
  
• Talula. Overall she is great and gentle with Leo - but she's also been acting out. She's had about an accident a day in the house which is just not what we want to be dealing with. In the last day or so she has calmed down a bit, so here's hoping it's getting better.
• Not having the same time with jb. We've been very blessed to have very flexible (if busy) schedules over the last few years and we are spoiled because we are used to eating together, falling asleep together, relaxing a bit together, even taking naps together - but now we have to take turns doing most things and while we've managed to stay on the same team, we miss each other quite a bit.
• The great hormone crash of 2010. Oh my goodness. It was so intense and so scary. Like drowning. I cried nonstop, about everything from how beautiful our baby is, to how I'm doing everything wrong. Luckily it cleared up in 24 hrs, and while there are still rough moments, I'm feeling pretty sane.
  
• Lack of sleep. It just magnifies all the above and makes you feel so run down. And then it's just sad to feel the days slip by as you are just trying to keep your head above water. Getting out of the house helps, sunshine helps, good food helps, and well, of course rest.
  

The little things I don't want to forget:

• Leo peed on jb
• Leo pooed on jb
• Leo spit up on jb
• Hearing jb repeat "I'm a dad, I can touch poo" like a mantra over and over with the messier diaper changes.
• I missed sleeping on my tummy so much!
  
• Friends and neighbors have provided a constant stream of food, flowers, clothes, and support.
• His "poof. poof. poof." and snorty breathing. This is already long gone, and thank goodness because were worried it might be a sign of respiratory issues, but man was it cute.
• His billy goat fussing noises.
• The bruising on his forehead and eyes and his poor little conehead that he wore as badges of his tough, if quick, birth.
• His two faces - totally relaxed, passed out after a milk binge or grumpy old man.

Anyway, I hope yinz like baby pictures - because I can't stop taking and posting them.

Run, Muffy, Run!

Today we cheered Muffy on as she ran the half-marathon! The route for the marathon passed very near to our house, so my parents and Larissa joined me by the sidelines. There were several friends in addition to my sister that I was hoping to see run by, and I was convinced I was going to miss them all once the hundreds of people started going by and they all started to blur together - but I managed to spot everyone I was hoping to spot; it's like they popped in the crowd! My mom loves to cheer, so she helped me cheer on friends, even if she wasn't sure who they were ;) The marathon was totally fun to watch - even in the rain! It was especially thrilling to spot someone you know in the crowd. First Jay, then Ellen, then N8 - and most importantly, Muffy!! We are so proud of you, kid!

Showered with Love

On Sunday some of our neighbors came together to throw us a really lovely baby shower. It was so much fun and it was really touching to see so many neighbors gather in support of our little family. Everything was just perfect. The food was great - lots of different people brought a dish and there was a great mix of wholesome salads and sweet treats. The decorations were adorable - there was a clothesline with onesies, bibs, and burp cloths strung across the windows and the napkins were these adorable "Let's Do Milk" print:I was a little worried that my stamina would fall short since I've been feeling a little run down lately, but I had such a good time I was surprised to be feeling totally energized all the way through the festivities. One of my favorite parts of the shower was that "the boys" joined us. Some of the guys were a little resistant to attending a "shower", but I think they ended up having a good time. The basketball game was on in the back room and there was plenty of beer - some of the braver guys even joined us to "ooooh" and "ahhhh" over the cute baby gifts.

Speaking of gifts - everyone was so thoughtful and generous! We got a ton of awesome things - from baby basics, to cutsie clothes, to some of the most incredible hand-made gifts ever. And we had just the cutest little gift-opening-assistant in our little neighbor.


The shower really helped me to feel like this baby is actually coming and we may actually be able to handle it. Not only am I feeling prepared by having some of the concrete baby gear in our home (and man, it feels like it's taken over the whole house!) - but also being reminded of how many awesome people we have in our community that are rooting for us and ready to jump in should we need some extra support.

We really are so blessed.

It Takes A Village

I've often mentioned our generous and kind neighbors on this blog. I want to clarify that I'm not referring to one or two neighbors - but virtually every single one of our neighbors. We are really blessed to live in a true community, where we can walk down the street and greet each other by name and truly know that we have this incredible support system to call on when we need it.

jb and I are both city-dwellers by nature, but are also very family oriented and fairly traditional (as far as 20-something lesbians go). We always assumed that there would be certain things we'd have to give up in order to live within the city limits, but somehow we managed to stumble upon this small-town of a neighborhood just across the bridge from downtown. I can't really put into words how exactly this little community feels, but it's nicest sort of nice. I guess the best way to explain would be to give some examples of the things that give us warm fuzzies:

• Ever since we opened the cafe (just over two years ago) we've had a consistent and growing group of regular customers. Some come every weekday morning, some come for breakfast on Saturdays and/or Sundays, some come to do work over coffee in the afternoons - but all are super supportive and dedicated to seeing us succeed. There are some customers that haven't missed a Saturday in two years!
• The neighborhood has a lot of parties - like a lot of parties. We have block parties on Memorial Day, the 4th of July, and Labor Day. We all meet in the street, bring a dish to share and talk and eat and drink while the neighborhood kids run up and down the street. Not to mention the Christmas Party, St. Patrick's Day Party, New Years Day brunch - plus the "bonus" parties (seriously, the G20 party was the best party I've ever been to - complete with each guest being assigned a country and bringing food from said country with many people also dressing up in traditional clothing and/or presenting power point presentations on their country).
• Volunteering. Most neighbors volunteer for neighborhood events and/or beautification. The Christmas tour, the spirits tour, the Queen Victoria tea, planting flowers in the spring, hanging decorations around the holidays, and seasonal clean-up days. On several occasions we've had neighbors hang decorations in the shop windows and plant new flowers in our planters outside. Such nice touches that we just love, but would most likely not get around to on our own.
• General generosity and support. We've experienced this personally on many occasions - from touching tokens and cards we've received at the holidays, to the avalanche of awesome baby stuff that has been handed-down or loaned to us since the day we announced we were expecting (crib, monitor, diaper bag, pack'n'play, maternity coat, other maternity clothes, puzzles, cloth diapers, clothes...), to the general - "oh you want this, I think I have one at home..." (air conditioner, sewing machine...). We've also had the privilege of being able to witness lots of inter-neighbor support. There are always people buying gift certificates from the shop because so-and-so just had a baby or so-and-so had surgery.
  
• The treatment of jb and our family. Now, I think jb is just the greatest person to have ever walked the face of this earth - but not everyone is perceptive enough to pick up on that right away, especially when the circumstances of their meeting involve jb being behind the counter in a service industry job position. When we were first considering opening the cafe, that was one of our (many) concerns. Do we really want jb to be working in the service industry indefinitely? We both had some pretty horrific stories from working barista and waitressing jobs in DC - and knew the grueling, thankless work that goes into serving the public. But really, it has been a pleasure to serve our neighbors. That's not to say that it still doesn't take a lot out of jb to be on her feet all day everyday, and there is still the occasional difficult customer that comes through the doors (but they are amazingly the exception, not the rule), but overall our "public" is more like a family that truly cares about jb and our brothers and sisters working behind the counter.
• Spreading the word. This kind of ties into the first point about our customers rooting for us to succeed. Our customers are always trying to get others to come in to the shop - by bringing friends who otherwise might not come, by blogging and use of social media, by voting for us in "best of" surveys, and by good old-fashioned talking us up.
  
• The snowstorm this weekend. The snowstorm this weekend threw us for quite a loop. We were under the (very mistaken) impression that because of the storm no one would be coming out (except maybe one or two of our hardcore regulars) and we would be closing the store early and enjoying hot chocolate on the couch together. Well, none of our baristas were able to make it in - but most of customers were very happy we were open and were coming in droves. So poor jb was working the shop single-handedly on perhaps the busiest day the store has ever seen. Of course, we quickly ran out of many vital ingredients - and a couple of our customers actually WALKED to the store for us to bring back milk, eggs, tomatoes, etc so that jb could continue to pump out lattes and omelets :) They were also ready to roll up their sleeves and help wash the dishes, but that's where jb drew the line.

This is getting long, so I'll leave it at that - but I think you get the picture. We feel so lucky - and I think this kind of fellowship is especially important to jb and me. The demands of the cafe can really take over our lives, leaving little time to nurture the relationships that are important to us. There have been times we have felt really isolated socially - but then we realize that we have this awesome network of friends and neighbors right at the center of those efforts. It truly makes the shop a labor of love.

On top of all this we are fortunate enough to have our families nearby and to live in a location where we can walk to a long list of great places:

• Museums (Warhol, Mattress Factory, Carnegie Science Center, Children's Museum, Aviary)
• Parks and Trails
• Farmers' Market
• Library
• Stadiums (PNC and Heinz)
• Restaurants
• Kayaking on the river or the little "Lake" near our home

All in all, I'm really grateful for our neighborhood, neighbors, family and city at large. If, as the saying goes, it really does take a village to raise a child - then I think we are in a pretty good position as we bring this little monkey into the world.

*To drive my point home - as I was typing this post, one of the men at the Harbor Light Center (the Salvation Army recovery center across the street from us) dug out our car from under more than 20 inches of snow.

Baby, it's cold outside

We had a big winter snowstorm. Like big-big. We haven't seen this much snow since our romantic Cleveland getaway. The roads are pretty bad, but it was a gorgeous day for a walk. So Talula and I set out on our daily walk to the park. We walked in the middle of the street for most of the way there.
Once we got to the park we had to brave the unshoveled sidewalk to get to the entrance. We almost gave up at this point - Talula had to leap most of the way. If you watch the video you'll see that at first she keeps turning back to me seeming to ask, "really? I should keep going?"



In a well-timed coincidence, another one of our many generous neighbors offered to loan me her maternity coat and just dropped it off for me yesterday. This is a big relief because I've had to choose between breathing comfortably (and leaving the bottom half of my coat open - brrr) or having a warm tummy (and forcing my coat to button over this baby bump I'm growing). I think the buttons on that coat were on the verge of popping off all together, so I'm especially grateful for this coat which is super warm and still has room for some more tummy growth.


I'm so glad we didn't get discouraged and turn back because once we got into the park (which had fairly clear walkways) it was just breath-taking. I love our neighborhood, and I love that we can walk to this park. This park is a pretty big part of our lives. We go there nearly every day and each season brings something to look forward to. The lake hosts kayakers in the summer and ice-skaters in the winter. We picnic under the trees and watch their leaves change. Today's walk through the park was extra special. It was so quiet and bright - even with many of our neighbors sledding and having snowball fights - it felt like we were the only people (or well, person and puppy) for miles.