Zoe's Birth Story: The Longest Two-Hour Birth Story You Will Ever Read

In daddy's arms for the first time

Leading Up To The Big Day

I was shocked when I made it to my "due" date (June 21st) since I had been yapping about how sure I was that this baby was going to come early.  Oh, mother's intuition...  My sister, Larissa, had been in town for a few days already and had been helping me prepare the house for our impending arrival as well as doing fun things with Leo (since I was pretty much house-bound).  My feet were massively swollen, but I wasn't very concerned about it since the same thing had happened toward the end of my pregnancy with Leo and my blood pressure had been steady.

I had a midwife appointment on my due date (Thursday) and there was a touch of protein in my urine and my blood pressure was slightly elevated.  That combined with the swelling made her suggest stripping my membranes to (possibly) get labor going - because if I didn't have the baby in the next 48 hrs they would need to monitor my blood pressure and protein very closely.  I agreed and when she checked me she found that I was already 5 cm dilated (halfway there!) and that the baby's head was so low and pressed against my cervix that not only could she feel the head - but she could feel the baby's heartbeat through the fontanelle.  Wild.  She gave us the names of the on-call midwives for the next few days and said she'd be surprised if we weren't back before the end of the weekend.

All's Quiet On the West Philly Front

Definitely still pregnant.  Two days away from my due date - and I had been so very sure that this baby was coming early.  In fact, I neglected to make father's day plans because I was sure we would be newborning it up by then.  Luckily, some of our neighbors hosted a casual brunch in their backyard and didn't mind us RSVPing at the last minute (I was so sure we wouldn't be able to make it!).  So a lovely morning brunch with friends, followed by a family nap and take-out from our favorite Chinese restaurant made for a sweet, if low-key, father's day at our house.

Last night my sister arrived!  She will be here a little over a week - and hopefully bug will arrive during that time.  She hasn't even been here 24 hrs and she has helped me (ok, I watched) clean, sweep and mop our bedroom, go through all my clothes, assemble our bedframe, and set up the bassinet.  Who needs a nesting instinct when you have sister bootcamp?  For the first time in weeks my inner monologue is not, "Come on, baby!  When are you coming to meet us already?" but rather "Just stay put another day or two...we have a lot to do out here!"

Going From a Family of Three to a Family of Four

My Family Today

These last few days (weeks, months) are so very bittersweet.  We are all so looking forward to bug's arrival, but I am feeling wistful about our time as a trio coming to an end.  The last two years jb and Leo have been my whole life - we have settled into our roles and built a great little family team.  Of course we have had to change and grow over that time - and adding a new team member will just be another way we grow.  I know this.

It's just that we have created this world; just the three of us - and it's all we've known for what seems like forever.  In reality though, it's only been two short years.  Ten years down the line this stage as a family of three will be a tiny blip on our timeline.  It's so strange to think that someday it will be hard to remember life before bug (as it is now to recall life before Leo).  That makes me want to soak up these last moments.

I am mourning a bit some of the things we will be giving up - mostly the one on one time and undivided attention that Leo gets.  But the more I think about it - while it is true that we cherish those moments we each get with one another, we are all happiest when we are all together.  I think that will still be true when we are a foursome.

Not to mention all that we will gain.  Especially Leo.  jb and I both cherish our siblings - and I really think that Leo is going to be a fantastic big brother.  I just know that they will love each other so much - I think they already do.  I already get so much joy just imagining them playing together, helping each other and being their own kind of team - I can't wait to witness it in person.

So even though I know that ultimately all these changes (while possibly presenting some challenging transitions) will be positive for our family, I'm still trying to savor these last days of just the three of us.

The Milkman, The Paper Boy, and Evening TV

We are going to have a very, very full house over the next few months.  For the last couple years we have been living in an apartment (that I ADORE) that has comfortably fit our family of three.  When we learned we were expecting bug, we were pretty content to stay put even though this apartment is technically only a two-bedroom.

But then we found out that jb's brothers' living situation was changing.  I know I sound like a broken record - but it has been so, so, so nice having the three of them living just a few blocks away.  Still, we knew it probably wouldn't last forever.  Uncle Jared got engaged (congrats again, Jadge!) and he and his fiancee got an apartment in another part of town.  Uncle Julian decided to move back to Pittsburgh to be near his dad and other brother.  That left Uncle Daniel in search of new roommates.

Don't You Know What Causes That? *Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge*

I'm at the stage in pregnancy where I am obviously pregnant (read: large and swollen) and visibly uncomfortable.  Add to that the rambunctious toddler I always have in tow and I have gotten a lot of sympathetic looks and comments.

(Sidenote: I've also gotten a couple impatient honks because apparently I wasn't moving my pregnant butt and my two year old across the crosswalk quickly enough even though I have the right of way - Philly drivers, you are the woooooorst.)

Mostly comments have been along the lines of, "You sure are going to have your hands full!" or "Hope that little guy is a good helper!"  I usually just nod and smile.

35 Wks: Pregnant Belly Shots and Low Iron

 I'm at just over 35 weeks and feeling much better than I was even a week ago.  I was feeling lousy.  Really tired and short of breath.  I'd complained of these symptoms a couple appointments ago, but basically was told that those are "normal" pregnancy symptoms - lung compression, creating a human, blah, blah, blah.  So I tried to just suck it up.

By the next appointment I was much more emphatic about these complaints.  I know I'm quite pregnant, and I know that I'm overweight - but I am crazy exhausted and get out of breath walking to the bathroom.  This also happened to be the appointment where they checked my iron level and it turns out I had VERY low iron - like a point lower and I wouldn't be able to deliver at the birth center.

State Of The Big Brother

Here is a quick check-in with the soon-to-be big brother.  He didn't exactly dress up for the interview - he didn't even wear pants.  His stylist is so fired.

State Of The Mama

Physically -  At 33 1/2 weeks I'm pretty tired and uncomfortable.  While I do think this pregnancy has been significantly harder on me than the last one, I do know that in the grand scheme of difficult pregnancies I have it really easy.  I'm dealing with pretty severe upper back pain and joint pain.  My feet are swelling and my hands are constantly falling asleep.  I seem to ping back and forth between starving and heartburn.  (I got heartburn from a bowl of cereal!)  Still, I'm moving around, trying to walk a bit each day (even if I do it huffing and puffing), and *mostly* keeping up with Leo.

Bug Update: 30 Weeks

29 wks

 Here we are at 30 weeks and things are going pretty well.  I am huge - it's hard to believe I have 10 weeks to go.  As I've mentioned before, this pregnancy has been much different (read: harder) than my last.  Still, overall I am doing pretty well.  I'm still moving around (if slowly), my blood pressure is good, my mood is normal-pregnancy-level choppy (but not out of control), and I'm feeling lots of kicks, bumps and hiccups in there.

My glucose screening came back elevated so I had to do the 3-hr diagnostic test.  Thankfully jb took the day off work and accompanied us - otherwise I wouldn't have made it.  I don't know how I thought that I could fast all night, take Leo on public transportation to a blood lab, and then entertain him there for 4+ hours while they slowly drained my blood while I was hungry, moody and tired.

Bug 21 Wks: Anatomy Scan

We had Bug's big ultrasound this week.  Everything is looking good - healthy as far as the ultrasound can tell. We are very happy and Leo loved getting a peek inside my belly.  (Side Note: We first made our appointment at another hospital but ended up cancelling it because they didn't allow children under seven to attend.  Beyond the fact that Leo was really looking forward to seeing the baby, we would have had to find childcare - so we found another place to go.)

Here are some snapshots of the visit:

Bug's good side

Wide Angle

Waving hello to us

Leo was fairly well behaved - but did get impatient as the appointment passed the 30 minute mark (after a long waiting room wait).  The long appointment resulted in his first "No more baby!" - and was our first opportunity to try to explain that we all have to be patient and do things we don't want to sometimes in order to work together as a family.  I'm not sure he really got the message - but I'm sure we will be repeating it plenty of times over the next few (dozen) years.  

Cravable

Lately I've had two major cravings.

1.  Salad with blue cheese dressing and bacon.
2.  Frozen strawberry margarita (which has been modified to a strawberry-lime smoothie)

These cravings are pretty intense and I've been having them about once a day.  I have gone through costco-sized bags of frozen strawberries, limes, and various veggies.  I suppose there are worse things to crave (like during my last pregnancy when I was all brownie-fudge sundaes all the time), but these cravings haven't edged out my natural drive for sweets and carbs - so it's not like I'm living on lettuce.  My usual hankering for chocolate milk and other such delicious things is still going strong; Pregnancy cannot change your basic chemical make-up, after all.

It's nice to crave fresh ingredients - even if it does require a lot of squeezing, blending and chopping. It is kind of strange to crave cold foods in February - but luckily the weather has been so mild that it doesn't feel too weird.  Also, bug goes NUTS for the strawberry-lime smoothie.  Just a couple sips and s/he is doing backflips in there.

*Disclaimer about the blue cheese - it is pasteurized, so no worries on that front.  Besides, the risks associated with eating soft cheese is significantly lower than getting into a car accident, and I haven't given up riding in a car, either.  I've even been known to eat sushi on occasion while pregnant - dun, Dun, DUN!

Halfway to June

Thursday marked 20 weeks of this pregnancy - the halfway mark of a typical 40 week gestation.  Of course by the look of my belly it looks like I'm due any day.  I'm feeling good - physically and (mostly) emotionally.  I feel like I have a lot to do - but not totally overwhelmed just yet.  The halfway point is kind of awesome that way - you feel established in the pregnancy, but not behind...yet.

I haven't really been taking belly pictures - mostly because I feel like a blimp.  With Leo, even though I was overweight to begin with I felt like pregnancy suited me - like my figure was built to show off a baby bump; a fertility goddess, if you will.  This time I just feel like a suddenly got wide everywhere.  Still, I'm sure in five years I will wish I took some shots of this belly - so I'm including few shots even though they are blurry and well, not really my favorite.  (jb just read this over my shoulder and reminded me that I cried after seeing pictures of myself last pregnancy - so perhaps the veil of time has/will change(d) my opinion.)

Leo is convinced this baby will be a little sister - whenever asked if he thinks he will be getting a little brother or sister he exclaims "sister!"  He is also lobbying pretty hard that we name the baby "Tuna".  jb and I are not totally convinced on the name, but we've added it to the list.

Junebug Update: 18 Weeks

This pregnancy has been so very different from the first time around.  Aside from being significantly sicker during the first trimester, I've also been much more tired.  I may have Leo to thank for that - he is full of energy, that kid.  I have been napping with him every day, which helps a lot.  A few times I've tried to resist napping and 45 minutes into his nap I'm struggling to keep my eyes open, so I still end up napping, just for a shorter amount of time.  I've learned not to do that anymore.

We've begun calling this little one "bug" (you might recall we called Leo "monkey" in utero) partly because of the Junebug-ness and also because several times during the first trimester I was SURE I had caught some kind of stomach bug because "there is no way a tiny baby is making me this sick!"

First Trimester + Todder = Not Easy

I didn't want to write this sooner because feeling the way I did I knew I was in danger of crossing the line from slightly whiny to ungrateful complaining PITA.  Hopefully, now that I'm feeling significantly better I can stay just this side of that line.  That said - Holy Cow!  I do not remember it being this rough the first time around.

June Bug

Thank you for all the comment love :)  I was sure that when I returned to this neglected space I'd be met with tumbleweeds.  It made me very happy to be received with such a hearty welcome back. 

The main reason I've been MIA is that I've been feeling under the weather.  For the last few weeks I've been fighting the urge to toss my cookies - but I don't mind too much because it's for a very good reason. 

Best Year Ever

This was absolutely the best year yet. I started it out pregnant (turns out I love being pregnant!), and about midway through we welcomed the most amazing tiny, little, itty-bitty newborn into our lives, and then for the rest of the year we watched him grow into the smart, active, funny, mischievous baby he is today. So so so much has happened this year, but most of it can really be boiled down to Leo. So many firsts, so many milestones, so many amazing moments. Watching Abi, Grandpa and Pops effortlessly slip into their roles as doting grandparents and our siblings shine as Aunts and Uncles. Learning things about ourselves and getting to know this amazing little person. I want to recap every moment - but that's what archives are for, so I'll spare you. Basically, this year has been incredible and I'm looking forward to many more good years ahead.

Other notable things from the past year:

• Snow storm - In February we had a crazy snowstorm fondly referred to by many as "snowmageddon". It was a disaster for many left without heat or electricity, but for us it was kinda awesome. The cafe became a gathering place for neighbors who lost power and wanted hot cocoa or soup. Talula and I took a walk through the neighborhood which was transformed into a winter wonderland.
• Job #1 - jb got a job at a local non-profit. This was the first step in our (still in progress) recovery from the financial mess of the year before. jb was good at it, valued by her coworkers and earning a paycheck.
• Generosity - I guess this is somewhat Leo related, but I think it deserves its own bullet point. This year was full of love and generosity from our family, friends, and community. We had two amazing baby showers that totally set us up for everything we could possibly need when Leo came along. We had amazing support on every level - from food delivery, to doula services, to company, to hand-me-downs to...well, everything.
  
• Niagara Falls - I went on a road trip with my parents, brother, and sister to the Canadian side of the falls. I was pretty pregnant at that point, so I was slow and a little grumpy, but it was so great to get to spend time with them all like that before Leo came along.
• Camping - Soon after welcoming Leo my whole family joined us for a week-long camping trip. We hiked, swam, kayaked, campfired, bocce balled, puzzled, and generally enjoyed each other.
• Bye-bye Aunt Fanny - Aunt Fanny set off to spend some time in Mexico. We miss her tons but are super glad that we have phone, email, facebook, and skype to make the distance seem non-existent.
• Philadelphia/Job #2 - We moved across the state. In like a week. jb was offered a good job out of the blue that needed her to start asap. So we up and moved to a new city in a leap of faith. So far we are liking Philly and beginning to make friends and find community. I am grateful that we are still close enough to Pittsburgh to visit about once a month so that Leo (and we) can see the family and loved ones regularly.
• The Boys - Uncle Daniel has joined our household, which has been great because three adults to one baby seems like just the right ratio; two isn't quite enough. Also, since we are in Philly we have gotten to see a lot more of Uncle Jared who lives in DE.

Epic Year. How did it compare to 2007, 2008, and 2009? Best Year Ever.

Transition

Four days out from the 15th. Not only are we in the throes of preparing for monkey, but we are also going through some major changes on the cafe front. After a lot of agonizing we've decided to have the cafe open only on the weekends. There are a lot of reasons behind this shift (none of which are that we think this is a brilliant business decision) and it's not really our ideal situation, but it seems like the best choice for our current circumstances. We are pretty sad about it, and even though we aren't totally closed, we are still mourning the loss of the cafe in many ways. Today was the first day of the implementation of the new hours and it was eerily quiet in the house without the bustle of the shop downstairs - and poor jb is at a complete loss with what to do with the extra time she found herself with today (even if it was way less free time than the average person enjoys).

In other news, our friend Adam was in town over the weekend. Adam and jb worked together in DC (managing one of the busiest Starbucks in the country right in the heart of Dupont Circle). Adam was our #1 tiny porch barbquing, patio weather drinking, and hard-working barista buddy. It was good to see him, even if it was only for a short bit.

I'm still huge. The baby has learned a new trick where he/she stretches out and presses on both my bladder and lungs at the same time. It takes my breath away - and works my kegel muscles. Fun.

jb and I are still in love. Even if my mood swings are getting harder to dodge.

We are making progress setting up the "nursery" (which is really just a corner of our bedroom. We bought the changing table/dresser second hand off of craigslist for a great price - I just need to reattach the cabinet door.


We have enough diapers washed and ready to go. The catch is that most of them are "one-size" so they may be a bit big at first. We do have a few prefolds and xs diapers for those early days, though.

Our collection barely squeezes into one drawer!


And finally - we got the carseat installed. Nuts! We went to the workshop the police station offers - which was super helpful and the officer that led it was really nice. It does feel a little weird to be driving around with a carseat in the back of our car, but I suppose we couldn't put it off any longer!

Hungry, Hungy Hippo

Nine days until my "due" date - single digits. Wow. I had a midwife appointment today and while I tend to not opt for internal exams generally - my curiosity got the better of me. I was surprised to hear how much progress has been made! I am 2 cm dilated, 50% effaced, cervix is soft and midline, and baby is at station -1; which I calculated to a Bishop's score of 7. Not too shabby. Of course, that could mean nothing and it could still be weeks - but it's nice to know my body is working on it!

On Monday I had a preemptive mother's day (getting ahead of myself on the date and the mother-ness) - and it was just such a great day. I slept in - then Muffy, my mom and I went for massages. We went to Rose Tea Cafe for dinner and Rita's for dessert. Then I met some friends from high school for a movie (because I may not get a chance to see another one for a while!). We saw Date Night - and I really enjoyed it. Funny, light, sweet, not too complex. Just right. After the movie we went for coffee and jb picked me up to take me home. I just wish jb could have joined me for the whole day.

Today I prepped all our diapers - which basically means I washed them a zillion times to get natural oils out of the natrual fibers and any chemicals out of the synthetic fabrics. Now there are little diapers hung to dry all over our bedroom - and they will be ready for a tiny bum as soon as they dry!

My mom came by earlier this week to help me clean (well, to clean while I sat with my feet up because the swelling is still out of control). She's also cooked up a storm and frozen a ton of meals for us to keep in the freezer for after the baby comes :) She did this for me years ago when I was homesick while working for a campaign down in Texas. She flew in, walked to the grocery store while I was a work, lugged all the gorceries home on foot, and then spent the whole day cooking and putting meals in tupperware to freeze. She was only able to stay a couple of days - but having a home-cooked meal each night for the next few weeks really took the edge off my homesickness. I think I'll find it comforting when I'm feeling overwhelmed in those first few weeks of parenthood, too.

A friend of ours also dropped off a bunch of babystuff - a bassinett, a swing, and some other helpful stuff that we don't have. There is officially baby stuff in every room these days.

I'm feeling huge and slow and like time is running out - but still pretty good. I've had quite the apppetite. In several of our pregnancy books there are passages reading, "At this stage of pregnancy you may have to eat smaller meals since there's isn't much room for your stomach..." This is hilarious, because I have been putting it away like a champ. I can't easily get up from a seated position, walk to the bathroom, or bend down (there are things all over the house that I've dropped, contemplated, and decided that jb can pick up for me later). I feel like a total hippo - but for the first time in my life when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror I think, "oh, huh, I thought I was bigger."


Now I'm relaxing and putting my feet up. I mentioned to jb that I've been self conscious about my swollen feet and I thought that maybe painting my toenails would help - but I can't comfortably reach my feet. So jb volunteered to paint them for me. Best husband ever.

Taking the job very seriously.


My favorite part about this picture is the shadow of jb's cowlick.


Some might critique the attention to detail of the final product - but I think it's the best pedicure I've ever gotten.

Extremely Pregnant

I'm starting to feel pretty run down these days. Thinking back to this makes me chuckle to myself and really just puts me in complete awe of nature's design for pregnancy. At that point, I really was sad at the thought of my pregnancy coming to an end - and part of me still is, but in just a couple months, my body has made sure to nudge me toward being ready to move on to the next phase - baby! Last night I had a really hard night - I wasn't comfortable in any position and my legs were swollen all the way up to my knees so I had a hard time walking. jb put me to bed, put the Hypnobabies pregnancy affirmations CD on, and gave me a gentle massage - and just when I was sure I'd never be comfortable again, I began snoring. Now, after a day of jb-imposed bedrest my feet look semi-normal and I'm feeling much better.

April Showers bring May Monkeys!

I have been like a sloth lately! I can't believe I've let a whole week go by without blogging about the awesome baby shower my family threw for jb and I last Sunday. It's like the days just slip by before I realize they've even started. I guess that's what being full term is like! 37 weeks tomorrow - officially full term. I can't believe it. I still feel good. Still battling swollen feet (thanks for your concern! - my blood pressure is "fantastic", so it's just unsightly, not dangerous) - in fact I have some new, more impressive pictures, but I can't bear to post them. They really are hideous. Perhaps a little pelvic pain and fatigue - but I'm still feeling pretty darn good. I'm ready for this baby, but not impatient.

Anyway - about our shower - so amazing!! My family and several friends worked really hard to plan and prepare for the event and make it a special day, and it was. Here I am with my siblings before the action started. Muffy (next to me in the picture) is the mastermind behind this awesome day. I promised myself that this time I would remember to take pictures, because at our last shower it was over before I could blink. Of course it happened again - the whole day was a wonderful blur. Luckily both times my sisters managed to grab my camera and snap a few shots.


The shower was held at my parents' home - the house that I grew up in. The whole place was decorated so nicely :)


As party favors my mom and sister made these cute little flower pots with blooms growing in them that said our names and May 2010. So cute and fitting as our loved ones gathered to celebrate our growing family.


I was able to snap a picture of the food table before most of the food was put out - imagine about a zillion more food choices. I didn't get to eat much as I was chatting with our guests (and still feel like I didn't get more than a couple minutes with each person!) but everyone said the food was great!


Of course there was a whole room dedicated to desserts. I'm not gonna lie - I did get my fair share (and then some) from this tabe. There ended up being about five times as many cupcakes as are shown in the picture.


Here is a close up of our cake - so simple and elegant. It was decorated with baby's breath and dogwood flowers from my grandma's house. You can't see the best part, though - it is a red velvet cake! Perhaps the best cake I've ever had!


All of the flowers were from my grandmother's property (My dad was quite the over-achiever with his task of collecting flowers, he cut and brought back enough flowers to fill the whole house). She died a couple of years ago, so it was really nice to have her presence at this celebration.


As you can see, the bulk of the pictures are taken before any guests arrived - but the guests really made the party. We had members from both sides of our family, friends from childhood, friends of my parents that are virtually family, friends from high schoool and college, friends I've met through doula work, friends we met in DC, and of course some of our beloved neighbors. It means so much to have so many people turn out in support of our little family. We feel so loved.


We also got a ton of gifts! This baby is going to have everything it could ever possibly need. From the adorable to the pragmatic - we recieved a carseat (yay! We will be allowed to bring the baby home from the birthing center!), babyhawk carrier, handmade sweater, laundry hamper and clothesline, and a great collection of books and stuffed animals.


I can't believe we are virtually "ready" for this baby. There are still some last minute to-do list items, but overall, if this baby came today - we could handle it. At least theoretically!