State Of The Mama

Physically -  At 33 1/2 weeks I'm pretty tired and uncomfortable.  While I do think this pregnancy has been significantly harder on me than the last one, I do know that in the grand scheme of difficult pregnancies I have it really easy.  I'm dealing with pretty severe upper back pain and joint pain.  My feet are swelling and my hands are constantly falling asleep.  I seem to ping back and forth between starving and heartburn.  (I got heartburn from a bowl of cereal!)  Still, I'm moving around, trying to walk a bit each day (even if I do it huffing and puffing), and *mostly* keeping up with Leo.

Leo's First Week

I am so incredibly tired. This week has been a rollercoaster. We are crazy in love with this little man and can just stare at him for hours - at the same time, I'm seeing why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. It's such a shame that this incredible, once-in-a-lifetime, fleeting time has to be enjoyed through a haze of exhaustion and pain. It's been a bit of a blur - and honestly I'd much rather be sleeping or staring at Leo right now than posting, but I want to make sure I record a few details before it all runs together.

Sunday - Day 1
Once our precious baby joined us earthside and we were cleaned up and filling out paperwork - I asked my family to bring me strawberry pancakes from Pamela's. We were home just six hours post birth and little Leo got to meet jb's side of the family. Leo was pretty much passed out for 24 hrs. after the birth, which we should have taken advantage of to get some sleep, but we were on such an adrenaline rush that we mostly just stared at him.

Monday - Day 2
We had a follow-up nurse home-visit for both Leo and I. The soreness began to hit me as the adrenaline wore off. My mom and Aunt Fanny (Aunt Fanny is Muffy's chosen name for Leo to call her) came by with lunch.

Tuesday - Day 3
Big outing day. First the pediatrician, then voting (I wish I had a picture of Leo voting with jb at three days old, but alas that pesky no camera rule). For dinner we went to Abi's (Abi is my mom's chosen name for Leo to call her) and had an awesome feast of veggies, fish and rice.

Wednesday - Day 4
I had a home visit from the lactation consultant, which was helpful, and timely because I was already getting super frustrated and almost ready to introduce formula. My hormones crashed something awful. We had some neighborhood visitors stop by the cafe to meet Leo.

Thursday - Day 5
Back to the pediatrician for a weigh in - he was still was not gaining, but had not lost any more weight which was encouraging. Katerina (my godmother) and Aunt Fanny came by for lunch and we had awesome chinese take-out and cupcakes. We got ambitious and walked down to the Greek Food Festival for dinner. The walk took a lot out of me, but it was nice to take Leo out for a casual meal and feel like we were getting some date time in.

Friday - Day 6
The lactation consultant came back for another home visit. I got a lot of sleep thanks to daddy (daddy is jb's chosen name for Leo to call her) picking up just about everything. Uncle Daniel came to see Leo. There was Brunton's chocolate milk back in my life after a dry spell (every where was out of it for the last two weeks of my pregnancy!!)

Saturday - Day 7
Leo made his cafe debut and met some of the regulars that hadn't come by yet. We took a lovely family nap. My Aunt and Uncle came by after the shop closed to meet Leo. Leo ate a whole bunch and fell into a deep sleep and jb and I were able to watch a TV show together and steal a bit of a cuddle.


Things about this week that have been hard:

• Breastfeeding - holy heck. I don't even know what to say about it that's not too awfully graphic, but it has been a real challenge. I know it's hard for a lot people, but I've got the extra challenge of having had a breast reduction (years ago) so it's been unclear what kind of success we could have with breast feeding, if any. I'm very proud to say that at this point we haven't needed to supplement with formula.
• Pain - Not only are we using new muscles when we carry Leo making for aching arms and back, but also, my posture while breastfeeding isn't always ideal (especially if it's a particularly painful session). On top of that, while in labor I got through contractions by bracing myself against two walls, so the next day I felt like I had bench-pressed a car. On top of that the soreness of recovering from a vaginal birth and the pain associated with learning to breastfeed. Well, ouch.
  
• Talula. Overall she is great and gentle with Leo - but she's also been acting out. She's had about an accident a day in the house which is just not what we want to be dealing with. In the last day or so she has calmed down a bit, so here's hoping it's getting better.
• Not having the same time with jb. We've been very blessed to have very flexible (if busy) schedules over the last few years and we are spoiled because we are used to eating together, falling asleep together, relaxing a bit together, even taking naps together - but now we have to take turns doing most things and while we've managed to stay on the same team, we miss each other quite a bit.
• The great hormone crash of 2010. Oh my goodness. It was so intense and so scary. Like drowning. I cried nonstop, about everything from how beautiful our baby is, to how I'm doing everything wrong. Luckily it cleared up in 24 hrs, and while there are still rough moments, I'm feeling pretty sane.
  
• Lack of sleep. It just magnifies all the above and makes you feel so run down. And then it's just sad to feel the days slip by as you are just trying to keep your head above water. Getting out of the house helps, sunshine helps, good food helps, and well, of course rest.
  

The little things I don't want to forget:

• Leo peed on jb
• Leo pooed on jb
• Leo spit up on jb
• Hearing jb repeat "I'm a dad, I can touch poo" like a mantra over and over with the messier diaper changes.
• I missed sleeping on my tummy so much!
  
• Friends and neighbors have provided a constant stream of food, flowers, clothes, and support.
• His "poof. poof. poof." and snorty breathing. This is already long gone, and thank goodness because were worried it might be a sign of respiratory issues, but man was it cute.
• His billy goat fussing noises.
• The bruising on his forehead and eyes and his poor little conehead that he wore as badges of his tough, if quick, birth.
• His two faces - totally relaxed, passed out after a milk binge or grumpy old man.

Anyway, I hope yinz like baby pictures - because I can't stop taking and posting them.

Shattered

Today was not a good day. Our car is out of commission. I have killer cramps. The damn vampire book is sold out. And worst of all, I dropped my iphone and the glass screen broke.










It fell out of my purse as I was getting out of the car (not our car - since ours is not working) and fell to the sidewalk. Oh, it was a sad moment. AT&T doesn't offer insurance on these phones, and the Apple warranty doesn't cover damage, so my options aren't that great:

1. Purchase another iphone at the non-AT&T-contract price.

2. Purchase a different (inferior) phone.

3. Pay Apple $250 to replace the screen for me. (notable: this is more than I paid for the phone)

4. Go rogue and buy a cheap knock-off replacement screen on ebay and attempt to make the repairs myself.

Well, the ebay replacement screen has been ordered and I'm reading up on how exactly to do this. In the meantime, the phone works fine, I just have to be careful not to cut my finger or face - yikes. Oh, I'm sad.

Spring Forward

It was a beautiful day in Pittsburgh today. I took the opportunity to work in our "yard". Our only outdoor space is a small patch of concrete enclosed by chain link fence and plywood. It's hideous. I'm actually too embarassed to post "before" pictures - so please, just know that as humble as the after pictures are - it is a huge improvement. This poor little patio has been through so much lately. In addition to the usual job of housing our garbage cans and the puppies' outside time - the contractors working on our house used my flower pots as ashtrays, left garbage everywhere, tore up the plants (dormant trees that just look like sticks - but still!), and generally wreaked havoc. Last summer I had this bright idea - basically I wanted to put a line of cinder blocks all around the house and fill the holes in them with dirt and plant flowers in them - like window boxes, except on the ground...and made of concrete. Well, I got as far as purchasing the cinder blocks and piling them up in our "yard" so that they took up most of the little space we have. So today I moved them - block by block - to make a wall of sorts around part of the perimeter of the yard. It freed up a lot of room and looks so much better. Of course, now that I'm in bed I can feel back starting to hurt and I'm sure I'll really be feeling it tomorrow. Last summer was the summer of ideas I never saw through. In addition to the cinder blocks, I also purchased and old, rusty claw foot tub that I hoped to turn into a planter - but it sat empty over the winter. Well today I sanded it (the best i could), spray painted it (with car paint that Keystone was selling at 3 cans for 99 cents!), and planted the berry plants in it. Bathtub planters kind of walk the line between trashy and shabby chic - but I wanted more than just potted plants. I think it's cute, and it will let me plant things that demand more soil than a 14" pot can offer. Maybe I'll even get some berries out of it!

Easter Cactus

I think I may have really f-ed up my arm pushing the car out of the snow over and over again. I was sore for a few days, but now that the soreness is disappearing - I still can't seem to lift my left arm over my head without whimpering.

Last night jb and I went to Costco to pick up some stuff for the store - but I got distracted by all the gardening inventory. I bought three huge bags of potting soil (hopefully enough to fill the clawfoot tub) and a four pack of plant seedlings - strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. Right now I'm torn on where to put the tub - because it's hella heavy and will have to stay wherever I fill it. On the sidewalk I have a feeling it will get vandalized, but there is very limited space behind our house. I suppose I'm leaning towards leaving it where it is - right outside our back door. I'd love to give it a paint job before I start the garden, but that may be a little ambitious. In other gardening news - I have this plant that I inherited when my grandmother moved. It was really small and sickly looking and planted in one of those disposable foil containers for leftovers. I repotted it, and while it's grown, it's always looked kind of sickly to me. But a couple of days ago I went to water it and it had this beautiful red flower. I didn't even know she could do that! So case closed. I totally have a green thumb.

This morning jb brought me french toast with powdered sugar and fresh strawberries for my breakfast in bed (she brings me breakfast in bed every weekday morning). It was such a nice treat.

but the hills of iowa make me wish that I could

I'm couch bound this evening (I suffered the same fate as my last DC trip and have brutal blisters) which is just as well because Kalina brought home a DVD of the L word premiere and we watched it with take out from Chipotle. The sneak preview would have been more exciting if I'd seen season 4 - but Netflix has been on the back burner lately. Still, I know all the secrets that most people won't know until...Sunday.

Now we are just waiting to see how the Iowa caucus turns out. So far it's looking like Obama and Huckabee. Fascinating.

Hopefully my poor feet will be well enough by tomorrow to not make my commute home miserable.

Obama, it's official. You heard it here first, folks.*



*if you heard it here first, well, that's just pathetic.